I honestly didn't know what peer pressure really was until my first semester of college, when I told someone I don't drink alcohol at all.
"You're kidding, right?" she said while laughing, as if my choosing to not pour poison into my own body just for the hell of it was something I'd casually joke about. Where's the fun side of you?"
Now if you know me, you know that in general, I'm a pretty even-tempered person. That being said, I'm prone to fits of sudden anger and/or I slip into episodes of deep depression when things bother me on a highly personal level.
This is one of those things.
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Where's the fun side of me? That's your question? Of all the things you could ask me, that's the one you choose? Why? I'm fun. Maybe not to you, but I'm fun. I enjoy my life.
Where's the fun side of me?
I don't know to tell you the truth. Not slowly killing myself, I suppose?
PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG- I recognize that alcohol itself is not the real issue at hand here. I of course accept the fact that alcohol, just like anything else in this world, is not inherently evil. I know plenty of people who drink socially or casually just because they enjoy having a drink and being with other people who are similar to themselves in that manner. That, to me, is fine. I would personally never choose to do it, but I don't have anything strongly against anyone who does. That's simply a difference of opinion and a difference of lifestyle choices that I can understand and respect.
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However, if you are someone who enjoys casual or social drinking and you antagonize or tease me for not enjoying it, I do begin to feel very hostile very quickly. I'll probably never understand how anyone could ever have one preference and criticize others for not sharing that same preference.
TO PUT THIS IN PERSPECTIVE- You enjoying having a drink (or drinks) with your friends and making fun of me for not joining in or doing it myself is just like how I enjoy blogging- but I'm going to guess that you very likely do not. That isn't to say you never do, never have, or never will, but in the grand scheme of things, if a list of hobbies was read aloud to you and you were asked to select five that you enjoy, blogging would probably not make the cut.
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But here's the thing. There isn't poison in blogging like there is in alcohol.
The whole "everything in moderation, including moderation" mantra remains true- but even then, drinking is still intentionally pouring dangerous chemicals into your body. No matter what. No matter the number of drinks, no matter the speed at which you drink them, no matter the type of drink, no matter the time between drink #1 and whatever number you get to. No matter what, it is risky behavior.
Yes, alcohols are different. I know that. I know that eight shots of liquor is more harmful than a casual beer. I should hope everyone knows that. But at the end of the day, alcohol is alcohol, and alcohol is poison.
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Okay. Breathe. That extremely intense part of my rant is over. I'm not completely done yet, I just feel like if you've listened to me vent for this long, you deserve a break. So here we are. Breaking.
HA! You thought. Life moves too fast to just take breaks when you feel like you deserve them, and I'm far too passionate in my writing to put a stop to it before continuing onto my next point, so here goes.
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My parents, who both enjoy social drinking and appreciate craft beers/fine wines, have laughed at me on multiple occasions because of how I've never even had the slightest interest in consuming alcohol.
"It's definitely an acquired taste," my dad would say when I was younger and would turn up my nose at just the scent of a beer as he handed it to me to smell.
And likewise, when my mom would offer me a sip of wine at dinner or a sip of champagne on New Years Eve and I would stick my tongue out afterwards in disgust, she would laugh and say something like, "someday you'll want to have a glass of wine at dinner."
I'm not saying I've stayed sober my entire life by any means, because I've definitely had a fair amount of alcohol considering I'm still only 19 years old, but I am in college now and I've still never wanted a drink. Ever. Not once.
I'm very grateful to my parents for raising me in a way that taught me the dangers of alcohol and educated me thoroughly, while not scaring me away from alcohol all together. Being raised around it, seeing it on a regular basis, and watching it be consumed in responsible ways by responsible people is why I've been able to maintain a healthy, balanced perspective on the issue- and make what I personally feel is the best, most educated decision in terms of the stance I take.
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I'd be lying if I said there haven't been times when I've considered drinking, or at least jokingly said, "God I could really use a drink right now," but who hasn't? Let's just stay honest.
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OHHHHH! But if you really want to piss me off, which you probably do to "test my limits" just like most people seem to enjoy doing as it is at my emotional expense rather than their own- antagonize me for not wanting to drink to get drunk with you and to top it off, (pun intended), point out the blatantly obvious fact that I could drink a non-alcoholic drink and still have fun with you and your drunk friends.
NO SHIT. I CAN DRINK WATER WHENEVER I WANT TO.
If you're a person who drinks to get drunk and you expect me to want to hangout around you, you're wrong and I sincerely hope you're logical enough to understand why.
When it becomes an issue of drinking for the sake of getting wasted, I won't "waste" a second of my time with you because that kind of behavior is stupid and reckless and a number of other adjectives.
And yeah, I know college is (at least in the social experimentation aspect) the time to be young, stupid and reckless.
At one point last semester, one of my best friends and I got in a fairly heated argument because she asked me to go to a party with her and I politely turned down the invitation. When she asked why, I gave her the honest answer.
"Because I don't want to," I said. "I just feel like there are better ways I could be spending that time."
I brought up the whole peer pressure thing at the beginning of this post so I could tie it into this story, and you'll understand what I mean when I tell you what happened next.
"It's just a house party," she told me. "Don't be a bitch. Come drink with us."
"I don't want to," I said again. "I just don't."
"Fine," she said. "You don't have to drink at all. But at least come."
"Why?" I asked. "So I can feel alone in a crowded room? So I can feel like the odd one out like I already do day in and day out anyway? So I can be surrounded by people who not only don't give a shit about me feeling desperately uncomfortable, but who make me feel like the enemy? Sure," I said, sarcastically.
"Sounds like a blast."
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And yeah, the sarcasm to the extent of coming off rude wasn't necessary, but at that point I was so genuinely angry I couldn't hold it back.
In my defense, she brought me that point. She worked and wore me down until the lock on my verbal filter was removed and I was no longer afraid to speak my mind.
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I have PLENTY of reasons for not drinking.
1) It's poison. I've made that pretty clear.
2) I don't see the point.
3) In terms of finding "outlets" or ways to relieve stress/release inhibitions, I do that in a number of safer ways. (Blogging, working out, taking photos, making art, baking, listening to/making music, playing with puppies, etc.)
4) Alcohol is expensive. I could buy chicken nuggets for every meal with the money some people spend on alcohol.
5) Drunk people make me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Strangers, family, friends, whoever. They all scare me. Some get angry, some just think they're hilarious when they're not, some just get stupid, some puke it all up and there's no way to know when that's about to happen, but mostly I never know what they're going to remember.
6) Drinking leads to throwing up, and throwing up is disgusting. Forgive me for not wanting to spend my Saturday night crouched over the toilet puking my guts up and waking up the next morning praying for death.
7) At my age, it's illegal.. so WHY????
8) I have a hard enough time making decisions myself, and that's when I'm completely sober. I can't imagine how complicated it is to make good decisions, or even to be aware of the decisions you're making at all- when you're drinking and/or drunk.
9) I'm very in touch with my emotions. I LOVE to feel things. If it's heartbreak, I want to feel it. If it's joy, yes. If I'm stressed, I want to be very awake and aware of the world around me. If I'm depressed, I want to feel it. I've never wanted to suppress any emotion, for better or for worse, with alcohol. I think that's asking for trouble.
10) I. Just. Choose. Not to.
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This blog is not in any way intended to hurt you if you if you see this issue from a different perspective. The point of this is not me saying, "I think drinking in general is the dumbest thing ever and nobody should ever do it and if you do it I hate you."
That is not my goal here. That's not what I'm trying to get through to you or to anyone. That's not the message I want to send.
If you enjoy drinking, or getting drunk just because you can, that is fine. This isn't my place to criticize you for living a different lifestyle and making different choices. This is just my way of making it crystal clear to you that I do not enjoy hanging out around people like you. While I have no issue with your personal decision, I also expect you respect my personal decision which is to not go out of my way to hangout with you when alcohol plays any role- simply because it makes me uncomfortable and I'd be happier doing other things.
And given the choice, I will always choose to do whatever makes me happiest.
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The point of this post is for me to go in-depth in my explanation as to why I choose not to drink and to illustrate how frustrating it is for someone like me to be in a college environment- where the issue of alcohol consumption is almost a daily obstacle I have to confront.
No, I don't want to go to your party, but that doesn't mean I'm not fun. I will respectfully turn down your invitation, and go about the world.
If that upsets you, raise your glass and down whatever is in it. By the morning, you will have forgotten everything. ;) But I still thought it was... worth sharing.
xox, - just a girl who would rather just get drunk on dreams
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