Evolve or remain.

 A few weeks ago I told one of my friends that it was almost time for me to start writing my 2020 wrap-up post, (like I do every year) and her response couldn't have been more... real.  "How are you even going to do that for a year like this?"  I had to think about that for a while. To be honest, I think I've been ready to write this one from the beginning. The first few weeks of the year were the only ones that were normal, and there's been a lot of times this year when I've come here to write just to get away from all the weird, wild sh*t that's been going down since.  A lot of 2020 consisted of unkind days. I had to make a lot of painfully difficult decisions. I walked away from a lot of people and a lot of positions - and a lot of the time it seemed like part of me was watching it happen and yelling back, "What are you doing? Why are you doing this? How could you? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?" The other part of me learned that raising my voice in ...

Today as I turned the corner onto the main road on my way to work, I caught a glimpse of the hot pink sunrise in my rear view mirror and a rainbow up ahead of me. A sign from the universe, I figured, that even though I had slept through all 3 of my alarms, maybe the world would be soft and kind instead of chaotic and cruel first thing on a Monday morning. Somehow, I was still ahead of schedule. Still early, I used every red light that stopped me as a chance to breathe. Now that I’m done with all the important tasks on my to-do list for today, I’m here. And while I’m here I’ll remind you that everything I write is emotionally charged. I don't write to make anyone proud. I don't censor myself to keep anyone else comfortable. Everything I produce is a product of something I experience very intensely. Everything I bring here lives a full life in my head and my heart first. 2020 has done nothing other than provide me with more than a sufficient supply of difficult things to exp...