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Here's To Decade Dos

"What'd you get for your birthday?"
That's the question everybody asks. 

That's the question I've gotten a lot of this past week, given that I turned 20 last Wednesday- starting decade dos of being wild-hearted, free-spirited, curious, and obsessed with the human experience. 
What'd I get for my birthday? 

Lucky. 

Lucky to be alive. Lucky to be loved and able to love the people around me. Lucky to be able to look back on 19 years while starting the twentieth with the happiest heart. 

I remember being overly enthusiastic about my own birthdays as a little girl. Starting in Octobers, I used to spend hours designing party invitations and obsessing over who to invite. Now my birthdays sneak up on me, and I'd be lying if I said people didn't have to remind me about this one. 

I think the world puts its watch on fast forward once you start college and become a real adult. I'm still adjusting to that. 
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And time, in all honesty, hasn't always been good to me. 

There have been moments when I've wished that it would hurry only to have it slow down, and when I've wanted it to slow down it has raced on- leaving me behind as it steals first place, aching and hating myself for failing to keep my up.

The cool thing though, about being second only to time as an entity that lacks heart and soul unlike myself, is that I've grown to realize that setting my sights on a finish line without caring at all about whatever is between it and myself is a waste of existence. 

You heard me. 
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Year number 19 saw so much... and was essentially sponsored by every coffee shop in my path.
It saw me spontaneously buy a bus ticket with which I traveled 26 hours just to throw up all over parts of Washington D.C. as part of the Women's March on Washington. 

It also saw me text my mother halfway through that trip that I needed to know whose phone number to write across my arm in permanent marker- jusssssssst incase I got arrested. But I didn't. 
It saw me write my name on the wall of my second home before it was torn to the ground, too. That was rough.  

                                        
It saw me continue my #selflovejourney as I promised I would. My bank account may have dropped a little bit closer to me being broke than I would've liked it to this past year, but the dancing with digits was worth it. 

The dresses, the morning lattes, the dinners with friends... they were all worth the wondering if I'd have enough gas to make it to school the next day. Especially those dresses. 
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If you don't believe me when I say time got ahead of me, ran a couple of victory laps for the thrill of it and left me to wander my way through life, well... here are pictures from some of the birthdays that got me to where I am now. 
1997: First moments. My mom likes to tell everyone about how shortly after I was born I just looked around at the world as if to say, "I'm here, now what?" and I think that might be the one thing that hasn't changed over the course of all the years since. 
2001: 4 years old and sassy as hell.
2008: I turned 11 and my mama got matching nightgowns for my doll and I. 
2010: I became a teenager a few moments after failing my middle school art project because the shades on my color wheel weren't right. I'll never forget that. 
2011: I turned 14. My dad took photos of my friends and I for hours.. but I'm glad my mama snapped this one. 
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But I'm here now, and I'm twenty. 
My best friend Elle, who has been my best friend since my second birthday (only because I was born before her), made me a cake to celebrate. 
And no, it didn't say "happy birthday!"
It declared, it lettering with bright red frosting, that I beat teen pregnancy. 
So yeah, my best friend is pretty special, for lack of better words. 
Thank you Elle, for standing by my side for two decades. I'll love you until my last birthday- that's a promise. 
Twenty, stay this good. 

Here's to decade dos. Here's to discovering new authors and finally becoming one. Here's to spending a few too many hours in bookstores getting drunk on the smell of shelves lined with a little dust and a lot of stories. 
And to proudly wearing the waffle necklace despite the weird looks I get. I'm the girl who wears breakfast food. Sue me. Waffles are delicious and I don't share them.
And to confidence that stops at nothing and for nobody. I love who I am, where I am, and for the first time in my life I feel like there is nothing I can not do.
Here's hoping that year number 20 is as good or better than the 19 that came before it. 
Today I was surprised with tickets to Taylor Swift's "Reputation" tour AND confirmed that I'm ending this semester with a 4.0 GPA....

things are off to a great start. 
xox 

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