Evolve or remain.

Love is a four letter word and somehow, probably also the absolute hardest to define. What is it? How do you know when you love someone? How do you know when someone loves you? Can it be truly unconditional? If it isn't unconditional, is it really love? How can you say you love someone and not be together forever? Can you love someone in one way and someone else in another way? Is pragmatic love named correctly? Does the word "love" deserve to be associated with something that's pragmatic? And what about lust? Don't the two get confused? Let's talk about it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Throughout the time I've been writing/blogging, I've gotten a lot of requests to discuss things like this. Love, relationships, breakup advice, thoughts on marriage, ideal future, etc. I love writing about things like these. That's right- love. How do I know? Because I feel happiest when I'm here in my creatio...

In the worst moments I experienced while dealing with depression, people would say a lot of the same things to me. "Stop wasting your time feeling sad." "Focus on the positive things." "Hey, here's a silver lining..." "Don't spend so much energy on negativity." And my least favorite: "Don't worry, be happy." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, almost two years later, I'm not battling depression anymore. That said, I still deal with emotional breakdowns and tantrums that I can't explain. During those episodes, people still try to comfort me by saying similar things. Towards the end of my freshman year of college, there was one particular week that I thought may as well have been the end of my world. I had caught my boyfriend cheating on me with a girl I had been friends with, my phone had died completely so I had no way to even talk to my best friends about what ...

"I'm losing respect for you." "You're pushing people away." "You're throwing away friendships." "Don't go burning bridges." These are all things I've been told over the years as I've publicly either started or at least somehow engaged in discussions that most people typically avoid. Both online and in person, I've been involved in conversations on a variety of topics, including but not limited to: self love politics (yeah, I do go there) food stamps vegetarian/vegan lifestyles racism/reverse racism feminism (and likewise, sexism) homeschooling vs. public and private schooling introversion and extroversion anxiety, OCD and other disorders fat-shaming abortion climate change alcohol and alcoholism  marijuana legalization beauty standards And after x number of these conversations, I started realizing just how stubborn I am. I was MADE for voicing my opinions, and after a while I s...

The way that it used to be was that anything that ever wanted to get the best of me could do exactly that. Quickly and easily. Almost entirely effortlessly. I was so pliable and so forgiving. I was afraid to lose my innocence and of burning bridges. I was terrified at the thought of knowing there were people in this world who could hold a grudge against me, hold something over my head, or stab me in the back.  I was afraid of being anything less than loved, and I was also, unfortunately, afraid of what love was.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I think the primary difference between three-years-ago me and present me is this: I'm no longer pliable or forgiving. I'm iron-willed and I'm a lot like blunt force. I say how I feel and I know what I deserve. I settle for nothing less, and I'm never not in search of something greater. Deeper. Stronger. More sincere. I'm not afraid to lose my innocence because losing innocenc...